Again and Again: You stand with me
by Ren-chan aka Matt Patrick
Summary: First Part of the Again and Again Series. Hao's thoughts on the Chinese Shaman who turned his world upside down. (HaoxRen) To Hao-chan.


Five hundred years ago, I was alive.   
  
If you think about it, things have not changed that much from then.   
  
I still want to get rid of all the useless humans in this world, the Asakura family is still trying to destroy me, I still have got followers who would die for me, and he is still around to make me hesitate.   
  
'Who is he?' You probably are asking yourselves.   
  
Well, I guess I'll have to start from the beginning then.   
  
In my first life as Hao Asakura, I was forced to marry a girl, Mei Kyouyama. She wasn't that bad, only a little moody, probably because she was younger and still had the spirit of youth trying to fight what she couldn't fight, her family wishes. But I guess we could live with that. We had children after all, two if I remember well, yet we were never in love.   
  
Or at least I wasn't, for my heart was held by someone else.   
  
I still sigh every time I remember that beautiful slender figure, the soft golden eyes and that wonderful smile he would only give me.   
  
He was the first one to ever say that my plan to clean the world was crap, and I guess that courage he had, to say what he really thought without bothering to think about what could happen, enchanted me.   
  
No one had ever contradicted me before, they feared me, after all.   
  
But he didn't, and that's what at first made me fall for him, before I discovered his well hidden gentle nature, passive yet passionate when his mind ordered him, his will to help others.   
  
He was perfect, in every sense of the world.   
  
Tao Ren he was called, a young yet mature and stubborn Shaman from China, only heir of the Tao Family and, even if not as powerful as me, with the proper training he might have been able to beat me. I know he could have.   
  
I fell in love with him, without me being able to do anything to prevent it.   
  
Mei saw it miles away, she always used to say, and amazingly accepted it without me having to threaten her as I first thought I would have to.   
  
Of course I, being me, didn't exactly hide the fact that I wanted him. Yet every time I tried to do something, he would only give me a small smirk, shake his head and walk away.   
  
That frustrated me horribly, but I didn't give up. I gave him small presents, complimented him, accompanied him when he needed me, and when he didn't too. I completely abandoned my ideals of killing humans while I was trying to get him, for it seemed so stupid compared to getting his love.   
  
And amazingly, for some reason, he eventually fell in love with me too.   
  
I still remember that beautiful night when I tried to put my arms around him, yet he stopped me, took my hands in his, slowly raised them to his face and rubbed his soft cheek against them softly, lovingly you would say, eyes closed. A sign of respect.   
  
I nearly died on the spot, for I knew what that meant.   
  
He was saying without words, that I had finally conquered his heart.   
  
Those were the most happy weeks of my life, my time with him.   
  
He was my only strength, the one that kept me from going back to my previous ideals, for he would, only by being there, stop me from wanting to do anything else but cherish him and love him, with my body, mind and soul. I finally learned to listen with him, to love, to respect.   
  
And then, they took him away from me.   
  
He knew it would happen before the day came, for his eyes, which had lately only shown happiness and love for me, became sad. He could feel his day was coming and so every night before that awful day, after making love, he would remind me, without really saying anything clear, not always in the same order, either.   
  
'Fight the wrongs of your heart, love. Don't take decisions without mending your heart first. I'll always be with you, protecting you. Don't walk away from what you have achieved.'   
  
I didn't find out what the sadness in his eyes or his words meant until the night after it happened.   
  
Some of my pupils, the ones that had agreed to help me clean this world, had gotten bored of me not doing anything for the purpose, so they decided to get rid of the distraction.   
  
They ambushed Ren on a dark street and attacked him, leaving then things to make me think it had been a human, and not a Shaman who had done that. And Ren was too hurt to really tell me.   
  
I found him, obviously not long after he had been thrown there, bleeding, eyes glazed, quiet. I ran to him, surrounded him in my arms and hugged him tightly, praying openly to keep him on this world. I couldn't lose him, not now.   
  
Yet my prayers weren't heard. He died in my arms, muttering words which I only actually heard weeks later.   
  
'I love you, Hao. Remember, please remember…'   
  
Oh, I remembered. But I didn't listen, for my heart was too hurt to let me think.   
  
This time it had turned personal, I was going to destroy humans and no one would stop me, they had taken away what I loved the most, so therefore they deserved to die.   
  
But you probably know what happened.   
  
I didn't succeed, so I came back on this time, five hundred years later, to continue with it, to destroy what I should have been able to destroy years ago. Yet I found something which I wasn't counting on.   
  
To find him here, reborn. As beautiful and smart as always.   
  
To find out he still loved me, even if he couldn't remember his past life.   
  
And once more, he stopped me from doing what I had been planning on doing, by refusing his friends and coming to me. By helping me regain my trust in love and respect for life once again.   
  
And this time, while I have him in my arms on our bed, asleep, I plan to listen.   
  
For I got a second chance, and I refuse to waste it.   
  
I love you, my Ren.   
  
I'll never let you go again.   
  
Trust me.   
  
-----   
  
A/N: Well, here we go, I got the idea to do a Hao POV today in the morning… and here it is! Hope it wasn't that bad. Dedicated to Hao-chan… thanks for caring. 


End file.
